


a brief practical guide to kissing girls

by PoeticallyIrritating



Series: Femslash February Ficlets 2015 [5]
Category: Veronica Mars (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-28
Updated: 2015-02-28
Packaged: 2018-03-15 17:02:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3454916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoeticallyIrritating/pseuds/PoeticallyIrritating
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kind of Mac/Veronica, but also kind of not that. They're sixteen, and sitting on a porch swing, and everything is going to be okay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a brief practical guide to kissing girls

**Author's Note:**

> Birthday gift for tumblr user kamaete.

They’re sitting on the porch swing in Mac’s backyard, and the chains are creaking as Veronica’s omnipresent nervous energy takes them back and forth, back and forth. The toes of Mac’s sneakers skid along the ground and she twirls a strand of blue hair between her fingers and finally, when the not-telling is making her hot all over, sweaty and anxious, she says it: “I-like-girls” all in a rush.

“No shit, Sherlock,” says Veronica.

It kind of pisses her off, the way Veronica always knows everything. “You knew?” she asks, and she feels her voice turning all kinds of brittle because it’s really not okay for Veronica to take this away from her.

“Sure,” she says. “It’s not like you stare at Carrie Bishop to drink in her dazzling wit.”

“Shut up!” Mac yelps, punching her in the arm, and just like that, Veronica is forgiven. (It’s always been that way, hasn’t it? It’s easy to forgive Veronica. Or maybe everyone’s just gotten used to it. She does need it an awful lot, forgiveness.)

“Have you told your parents?” Veronica asks, and Mac kind of wants to punch her again for the concern on her face, the terrible attempts at masking her need to know for the sake of knowing _._ She’s stopped pushing the swing back and forth with her toes.

Mac shrugs. “Nah.”

“Are you going to?”

“I dunno.”

“But you told me.”

“Yeah.”

Veronica picks back up with pushing the swing. “Okay,” she says. “So, why?”

“Why did I tell you?” Her body is going to collapse in on itself, probably, if she keeps making herself smaller. “Uh.” She looks really hard at the ground, focusing on the tiny skid marks her shoes are making on the concrete. “I know this is stupid, and like, you probably don’t even—I mean—I just, well, kind of like you. So.” She can feel herself getting redder as she goes on. It’s not exactly summery out, but she’s going to sweat through her shirt; in fact, she might combust from the heat of her own embarrassment. “Yeah.”

She doesn’t look at Veronica, doesn’t want to see whatever her expression is—smug or horrified or shocked or—

“Mac…” Veronica says, and Mac feels like she’s going to throw up.

“God, don’t—don’t be all sympathetic and sorry, okay? You don’t like girls, or me, or whatever, that’s fine. Just say it. I can handle it.”

She looks up when Veronica touches her hand. “I was just going to say I’ve never kissed a girl.”

“Yeah?” There are a lot of things she should ask, probably. Like _does this mean anything?_ or _is this a one-time thing?_ or maybe, like, _weren’t you dating that guy, what happened to that, did you stop because you’re gay or because he’s a douche, do you still like him?_ But Veronica’s already getting like, way too close for Mac to keep pretending to be cool and pretty and not sweaty, and instead she’s focused on how Veronica may never have kissed a girl before, but Mac has never kissed anyone, like, ever, except for Eddy Miller in first grade, which didn’t really count, and she doesn’t really know how to— _get_ there. Like, it’s not like she doesn’t want to kiss Veronica, but her nose keeps bumping Veronica’s and she’s laughing and embarrassed, and Veronica’s just kind of moving in with more and more intent and Mac keeps pulling away because Veronica looks so _serious_ and it brings self-conscious laughter bubbling out of her chest. She doesn’t think of herself like this, as a kissable person. And here Veronica is, steady and intense, pressing in to kiss her. She closes her eyes, takes a breath to steady the giggly shaking of her chest, and lets Veronica take over the situating of noses and mouths.

She’s still startled enough by the sudden press of Veronica’s lips that her eyes open to a blurry view of Veronica’s cheek and eyelashes. Veronica’s eyes are closed, and Mac closes hers again, because she figures that’s probably what she should be doing, but then Veronica’s lips are still pressed against hers, moving, and she feels like she’s _missing_ something important by having her eyes closed, so she opens them again. Veronica’s hand is on her hip. She puts her hand on Veronica’s hip and then feels silly for needing to copy her so she moves it to her thigh, shoving down the frantic sense that it’s too much. She moves her thumb against the fabric of Veronica’s jeans, denim and the warmth of her body under her touch, and then Veronica pulls back just enough to release Mac’s lip from between hers. They sit with their heads close together for a moment, sharing breath, and Mac registers somewhere in the back of her mind that the swing is still moving.

They pull back.

“So?” says Mac, and her stomach feels like it’s tied in a knot. Her heart hasn’t slowed down once, what with the kissing and Veronica just, kind of, existing and being pretty and—

“Mac, I—”

“It’s okay,” she says, even though it’s not, really.

“I’m sorry,” she offers.

Mac looks up and smiles, a little sadly. “Well,” she says, “you’re a good kisser, just so you know.”

Veronica laughs, surprised, and grins in a pleased kind of way. "You want to go inside?" she says. “I seem to remember someone’s mother having a stash of Cheez-Its in the kitchen cupboards." And maybe, Mac thinks, maybe this could be all right.


End file.
